I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
Do you have any idea why the dryer isn't working?
Because you touch yourself at night.
Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
After I tried for five minutes to hang my beer from the coat hanger in the bathroom , I have realized I am drunk
I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
Shit. I'm running the whole hotel right now. The front desk girl had to run home because she left her vibrator on the counter and her brother, mom, and grandmother surprised her and are showing up to her place before she gets off work. This will end badly no matter what.
Either I'm too drunk or she gave me a hand job to the rhythm of jingle bells.
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
Randomize
