Dude, just walked by a homeless guy pissing on the sidewalk while he was screaming at his wang. God, I love this city.
Sex on a trampoline was so worth getting a mosquito bite on my penis
I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
I got fingered by sexual harassment panda last night, by a van, I can't remember if he took off his furry panda hands...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
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