Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
Saw a sign earlier "Domino's Lava Cakes $3.00" and I thought of you. This text brought to you by thing I don't need to know about your sex life.
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
He asked me to describe my life outside work. I responded with "Home-wrecker.
Randomize
