I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
My high school reunion is Thursday so I need to find an outfit that says "Haha, you got fat and I got tits. Suck it, bitches."
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
So I was walking to the bathroom and some random dude threw up while walking towards me. He kept eye contact the entire time and didn't stop moving.
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
Randomize
