I wish your couch was made out of beer. I would drink like half of it.
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
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Went to my car this morning. Found a waffle from Waffle House in the front seat. No idea how it got there. So hung over I ate it.
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
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It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
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