i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
i just broke my key off in the door of my house because the engine wasnt starting
I cut my penus on the lid.
He waited exactly 18 minutes to booty call me after his break up.
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
I left myself a note saying 'buy a hamster but not an orange one like this pen'
omg so drunk
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
I'm shopping for Mother's Day cards while waiting for my herpes medication. What is life.
I just gave myself a foot massage. #SingleAsFuck
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
Randomize
