He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
Note to self: Calvin Klein's are not safe to shit in.
I woke up while she was taking a panoramic photo of my morning wood
Randomize
