Drinking non-alcoholic beer is like going down on your cousin.
Sure it tastes the same, but it ain't right.
Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
Why did you fed-x me a peanut butter sandwich?
It seemed like the thing to do. There's popcorn on it too.
STOP smoking sooo much weed. Damn
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
How drunk is too drunk to be on an airplane?
Randomize
