There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
I feel compelled to tell you that I woke up this morning and found an entire corn on the cob in my purse. Ive decided not to question my drunken behavior anymore, and to just accept it as my lifestyle.
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
Randomize
