i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
I forgot how hot balto sounded
I am full of burrito and curiosity
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently telling a group of crying girls that it looks like they need a visit from Dr. Phil isn't the best pickup line.
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
if there weren't so many witnesses I 100% wouldve punted that squirrel
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
i'm going as a slutty football player, and all night i'll drunkily whisper "id love to catch your balls." into random strangers ears.
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
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