Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
3 complete strangers have joyously high-fived me on campus today. Tell me why, starting after jager bomb #4.
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
Dude i just want you to know that when i found you half your mustache was already gone. I didn't do it.
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
Maybe singing about how you'd bang Morgan Freeman to the tune of Single Ladies while holding champagne and a box of Cheerios wasn't the best first impression on his parents
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
Randomize
