You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
They told me I spent half the night at the club with one ball hanging out my shorts. Apparently it got me 1 free drink, 2 numbers, and thrown out.
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
Something like; Dear Cupid, when are you going to send me someone to date that isn't a complete psychopath
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
I just wrote a self loathing message to self, wrapped my credit card in it, put it in an envelope, sealed it with another hate messame, and put it in my lock box. So. That's where I'm at.
Randomize
