standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
You installed a beer holder in the shower?! You're the best roommate ever!
... That's a shower caddy.
I believe this is a toe-mate-toe vs. toe-maut-toe situation.
Dad was on the deck drinking straight bourbon. He stopped, puked on his feet, and then continued drinking and talking about compound interest.
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
Ah, Christ. I just saw a D lister I made out with once on a Rock Of Love rerun. Why are you asleep right now? Some weird shit is happening.
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
Randomize
