I'm trashed wearing your mom's snuggie. She says hello.
so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
in the morning i found her name, number and address on one of the empty pizza boxes. also said "ps. if you find my shoes please mail to me."
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
Randomize