in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
forgot a fork. i am eating fettucini alfredo with a comb that i rinsed off the the bathroom sink. eating alone in my car. life doesn't get any sadder than this
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
I think they took out their livers years ago and replaced them with like cheese graters or something. Only explanation.
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
I'm not going to be your wingman while you are in the hospital.
Was about to close the deal last night until he said he hadn't seen the Taylor Swift video. So I made him watch it before I let him have sex with me.
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
Randomize
