I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
Shut up. The only friend I need in life is Jim Beam because life is meaningless.
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
Randomize
