She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
u ever jackoff with ur legs spread and pretend ur fuckin urself as a girl and get mad u'll never know what that feels like. Or to fly like a bird?
Did u absorb a fraternal twin in the womb?
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
You ever fart so hard while you are asleep that you wake up screaming?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just imagine me sitting naked on a toilet with a fully-clothed dude i havent seen in 2 years, trying to make normal conversation except that im covered in blood and he's helping wipe me down while i try not to pass out because blood makes me NERVOUS. And he's apologizing and i'm apologizing.
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
Randomize