I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
Things i learned at work today: do not put mayonaise on a tattoo, it will get infected.
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
Randomize
