I drank like a thousand beers last night and my poo is solid, not gross like usual. I think this means I've grown up.
I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
Why is your vibrator in the fridge?
I'm testing sex in Alaska before I go there.
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
You tried to initiate "Occupy McDonald's" when the cashier didn't give you enough ketchup.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
Apparently I've texted the word shitfucked so much it auto-completes it now.
Lynn just told me "I heard about your divorce. Condoms or morning pill your choice and I'm buying". Sorry but I got plans now bro.
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
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