He is such a slut. More and more my type.
So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
Dear Beer Goggles, it's time to see the eye doctor. With love, your biggest fan.
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
Last night he told me I was never sexier than when I was cutting pizza. Seriously. Like, he's perfect.
Randomize
