apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
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He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
My roommate just google searched "cumming blood" using my laptop. Her boyfriend is in her room, she looks scared. Words cannot explain how hilarious this is.
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
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