let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
My phone has seen less use in the last three days than Tom Brady's condoms.
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
you were eating the carrots out of my guinea pig's cage and saying that you needed them more than they ever would.
The vodka told me to go iceskating on my frozen pool. I may have attempted.
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
It’s easy for me to be professional, the tough part is finding the perfect amount of bitchy undertone
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
Randomize
