even in the morning, she still thinks my british accent is real.
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment
I'm pretty sure I just woke up to one of the airport janitors saying that she wanted to tie me up and do something.. I couldn't hear what, thank god
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Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
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At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
Just set the kids up with doughnuts downstairs so I could go up and masturbate uninterrupted. I am such a good mom.
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
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