i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
I am spending my child support on dildos
He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
I'm instituting a new rule. If you wake me up at 3am about wrinkled blankets, I get to throat punch you
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Randomize
