Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
You had a beer at 10:30 this morning?
Ya, I didn't have any Tylenol.
I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
Randomize
