"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just spent five minutes taking pictures of my hands for some random guy.
Thanks for reminding me why I talk about you behind your back. Get laid.
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
I used his number to look up his customer information at work. He's no longer saved as Magic Penis in my phone.
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
I'm so high that a guy on TV just sneezed and I said "bless you."
Here's a rundown of my night alone. Danced my ass off in the kitchen to FleetmacWood. Drank a little bit. Ordered $40 worth of Chinese food once the drinks kicked in. Picked up said Chinese in dirty sweatpants and slippers. #livinglife
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