Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
Boys can't fool me. I know "want to come up and meet my dogs?" is just a nondirect way of saying "come up and meet my penis".
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
had a dream you helped me fill my shoes with yogurt. we were even like "why didn't we think of this before?!" like it was just so obvious
that sounds like something we'd do... we're onto something here
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
Randomize
