about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
I got arrested for "public intoxication". Fuckers threw me out of the bar into public... i mean shit they have thirsty Thursdays. And I get thrown out for self serve Sundays plus a citation.
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
Right... Let's keep my vodka tinged mind focused on simple words
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
I mean we all knew i was gonna get arrested eventually but shoplifting is lame so dont tell anyone. Well just let them assume public nudity or something
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
Randomize
