I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
Seriously bro? Indoor roman candle wars? I guess I'll never see that fucking security deposit again
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
I should probably just LinkedIn request everyone I've ever slept with so they stop popping up on my suggested connections list
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
Randomize
