We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
turns out a healthy dose of cleavage is the equivalent of a swig of felix felicis
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
Nothing says I'm committed to you for all eternity like letting him wear crocs to the wedding
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
Remember that pair of super cute shorts I pooped in? I miss those 😔
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
Randomize
