I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
we tried to pick out bridesmaid dresses with pockets so we could sneak flasks in with us. what the fuck is the point of a dry wedding?
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
My husband was abducted by a group of disco dancers in the parde and danced off down the street. If you see him, tell him to Hustle on home and clean the cat box. #MardiGras
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
Randomize
