PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
You were greeting everyone with " Hi I'm Jess show me your dick" whether they were dudes or not.
Wow my largely unnecessary pool of lizard-related knowledge finally came in handy. Are you proud?
I don't know what to say
I walked a mile in this weather wearing nothing but a toga. Zero fucks. Your move Mother Nature.
You slapped my ass and yelled "HOOTY TOOTY WHAT A BOOTY" in a Schwarzenegger voice
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize
