The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
It was your ex but it was not eighties night, it was pudding wrestling. And either thank you or I'm sorry depending on the state of my pants left on the doorstep
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
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