Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
We're having soft pretzels and cheese dip for dinner tonight. Like fucking adults.
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
Today's hangover is brought to us by Sailor Jerry's and your dedication to my alcoholism.
Only in the emergency room do they shut the door when youre laughing too hard
Randomize
