he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
I'm waiting at the bar and am surrounded by unattractive women.
You need to get here and rebalance this disturbance in the force.
You need a sexual gate keeper
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
I'm in the recliner and i have a bottle of wine wedged in my cleavage, drinking from a straw. Clever and classy or pathetic and sloppy?
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
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