we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
I'm fucking a man old enough to be my father who is also dating my boss. What have you done with your life?
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
OMG I accidentally abducted a cat. Now there is a cat in my apartment. I NEED TO UNDO WHAT I HAVE DONE
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