so i woke up with ketchup and a sticky boob on my face...this is a new low
Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
i've learned that i'm good at stealing things. like live cats.
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
I most definitely just found a video on my phone that I accidentally took... You can't see anything and all you can hear is me talking about how good your water was... And then I fed it to you... And used the word "eloquent" to describe it.
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
Trust me. My dick only does selfies for you.
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
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