I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
I love you, but seriously, that was way too long a thesis on an Arby’s curly fry being wrapped around schlong!
Randomize