How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
I fell asleep next to my cousin and woke up with my hand in her pants because i though it was lisa
Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
I'm drunk at the doctor. It's not that fun. Overrated in fact.
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
I love when Facebook suggests people I may know. Well, yeah, I know him. He's my drug dealer. Pretty sure I want to keep that relationship strictly professional.
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
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