So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
She puked in the bank of America parking lot? Awesome.
Yeah, figured I'd deposit my check while we were there.
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
She wants to go as a facebook "like" for halloween, but right now her costume looks more like the hamburger helper hand with broken fingers.
They just built a gym in the same parking lot as my favorite bar. Drunk me is gonna be so excited.
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
I think the fact that I stole someone's mail and broke my big toe means that I should consider taking some time away from vodka
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
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