im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
What started as a "classy" double date ended with Jeremy and I tripping our balls off and talking to the refrigerator while the girls cried on the couch and questioned where their lives were heading.
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
You called me at 3 am and I rode my flat ass bike that I dug out of my garage in the dark to meet you at dunkin donuts for a 10 minute convo about your mother and you didn't drive me home.
you owe me a blunt and a bottle of moscato.
IM WAITING BITCH. ANSWER ME.
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
I just washed out an empty chocolate milk bottle to take whiskey on my bike ride.
You are not an adult
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
You showed up at my front door in a bikini with a fifth of tequila it was like the opening to a porno
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
Randomize
