is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
I've Ubered to the bar three times this weekend to get my car but every time I get there I end up drinking. Still no car.
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
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