she kept yelling 'call me bella'
The guy at the liquor store just checked my id and said "oh it's you"
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
My dermatologist just asked me, "what happened here?" referring to the bruising on my nipples. I told her I walked into a door. Thanks for that awkward moment.
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
3 guesses about who had to still-drunkenly facilitate a fire drill at 2:40am because freshmen can't handle microwave popcorn.
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
We play beat the clock every morning. When the alarm goes off, she hits snooze and drops her panties. If I can't finish in time to beat the snooze, she jumps in the shower and I've gotta jerk off.
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
Randomize
