Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
I'm so hungover And my mouth is so dry it feels like my tongue is wearing a sweater
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
Did you miss the part about my hangover needing a day to rest?
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
Tonight is an "I'm lonely and single so I'm going to curl up in a warm, melatonin and vodka enriched ball in the corner of my bed with a cat." kind of night.
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
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