he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
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We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
Hurricane my ass. I'm riding a god damn kayak down the flooded highway if it's the last god damn thing I do, god damnit.
I would makeout with my roommate, but im not drunk enough and she doesnt like bacon fat
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
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She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
It's 2016 and I'm somehow banging the milkman.
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
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