I'm gonna cuddle the shit out of you tomorrow
Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
I have a taco in my pocket for later because I am a practical drunk
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
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