see... this is why i put birth control in all my friends drinks
wait.... you do what?
I want to be a jewelry store heckler. "Hey man, is she really worth it"
Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
Yeah because the only thing stopping you from fucking Emma Watson is you not being a Gryffindor
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
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