Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
Sometimes I have to make sure these messages are going to you and I'm not about to give someone in my phone book a heart attack.
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
TURNS OUT they were both cheating. Like the Gift of the Magi except for shitty people
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
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