Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
My dermatologist just asked me, "what happened here?" referring to the bruising on my nipples. I told her I walked into a door. Thanks for that awkward moment.
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she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
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You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
Last night I got drunk on margaritas at an Irish pub and came home with only one shoe. I have to get my shit together.
You really know how to show Monday who's boss.
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
I know I drink too much cuz "ssssjllapph peneinssesss" automatically comes up in my phone now.
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