I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
I ran a string through all of my old vicodin bottles and strung them on the tree. Tis the season.
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
There is a 97.5% chance that my sketchy roommate is also a hooker.
So when can I meet her?
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
I'm experimenting with sincerity
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
soo... how was my night?
I woke up thinking it was Friday. I was disappointed (to say the least). I am pretty sure I have gained the quarantine fifteen (but I won’t know until I try to put something other than elastic-waisted shorts on). And I am probably going to need dentures because I am grinding my teeth so much. But hey--this is temporary, right?
Randomize
