Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
ALSO, I NEED TO BORROW A CAT. ASAP
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
I'm actually kind of scared about the prospect of us living together. We're just going to eat pizza and drink wine before retiring to our rooms with vibrators
Nothing has ever been more true. Ever.
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
Randomize
