He was sucking on my finger.... and it was at that moment that I thought: Man. I wish I had a penis.
The Mets? Come back? That'd be like Nickelback writing a good song.
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
I drank a fishbowl of liquor and next thing I know I'm sliding into Zach Galifinakis' DMs
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
Randomize
