do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
bailing my boss out of jail is a great way to spend memorial day
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
I should probably file for unemployment. Sometime between last night and 4 AM I facebooked my manager the lyrics to hoe by ludacris. I'm just projecting ahead here.
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
They invented a new game at work. Its called guess if I'm baked, hungover, drunk, or some combination of the three. Its surprisingly very difficult..
I just figured out the time exactly by how many shots and beers that I've had since this morning. I either have a terrible problem, or a great solution.
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
Randomize
