Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
a queef is a wish your heart makes.
I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
while you were getting the key to the dorm from the lobby i was giving a drunk monolog to the security camera about my life
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
I'm slightly possesive over the gucamole when i'm stoned.
Is that why you left peanut shells in my bed?
my revenge plans when i'm high are never as good as i think they are
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
He just ranted to some customer about fourth of July being ruined and I just shouted USA the whole time in the background. It was kinda epic
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
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