Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
You were having sex very loudly, so I felt it necessary to blast the Thong Song, bust out the trusty old airhorn and walk in on you. MY BAD.
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
My whole life is a joke
Yeah. I’m starting to see why you drink so much.
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
Randomize