It was like the Ritz Carlton of jails. I got introduced to our criminal system the right way.
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
He just showed up with a bottle of wild turkey a half a can of coke and some marshmallows yelling "gobble gobble bitches" my roommates hate my cousin
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
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