I bet he comes in French.
So I hogged the stall at Denny's for so long that a little kid shit his pants and ran crying to his mother. Am I a terrible person for this being the proudest moment of my life?
dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
i wrote down the address for planned parenthood on the back of the receipt for the condom that broke
I can't decide who is the bigger alcoholic: you for opening that bottle of wine just now or me for hearing it in the other room over the air conditioner
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
Turns out the guy I did all that coke with the other night is a cop
We're dating now
I have had my dick inside of entirely too many people at this wedding in order for me to be the groom. Please give me a swift kick in the dick to wake me up from this nightmare
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