Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
just found a beer in my hamper. even my laundry is a dirty alcoholic.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
Just blew a guy who had the same phone case as me. It was destiny.
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
My doctor wrote down abstinence as my form of birth control. #ihavenodatinglife
I made a White Russian but saw how early it was and decided to substitute it for milk in my lucky charms. This is what it means to be an adult.
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
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