I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
Told her my spirit animal was the spread eagle. Now that's my name in her phone.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The guy at the ER said it was the first time he's given stitches for a funneling accident. Then he seemed upset that I took pride in that...
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
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