We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
Stop it with the monkey emojis. It's like sexting with Curious George
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
I think it's a bit on the nose for the Uber driver to play stairway to heaven while driving like A psycho.
Randomize
