if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
Apple trackpads and semen don't mix. On the way to the Apple Store.
It's that time of the week again where I begin to ponder life's great questions like, "What will my pathetic excuse for a future look like?" and "Why tacos?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
He just pulled a Spanish chick using google translate!!!! We are at the bar and she speaks zero English. Hes a fucking magician!!!!!!
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
He asked me to describe my life outside work. I responded with "Home-wrecker.
Randomize