Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
I've got a whole match.com system. Triple book. First dates always get the 6pm happy hour drinks slot. 8pm dinner goes to a girl where I think I can close the deal. 10pm slot goes to the sure thing in case of emergency, but 6 can always trump 8 and 8 always trumps 10. Just blame it on a dead iPhone battery.
That, my friend, is how I bang 50 new girls a year. Not luck at all. It's science and statistics.
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
She's trying to sext her husband for the first time. I'm feeding her lines. It is 3 am and I am playing Cyrano for my wasted big sister TELL ME I AM NOT THE BEST SISTER IN LAW ON THE PLANET.
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
look, im sorry that i yelled at your little brother, threw my car keys at him and smashed a stale cookie with a pool cue, but i swear to god i didn't poop on the floor. it was one of your dogs.
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
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