Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
Ah I wish I was there to nurse you then clean up your piss-filled water bottles
for some reason the bedside piss missed the water bottle today
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
I walked down to the adult beverage store and got two bottles of jim beam and s shooter of crwon black label because we didn't have any Tylenol
Fuck that must be a crazy sunburn.
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
I just duct taped myself into my costume. I apologize in advance if you find me in a compromised position involving duct tape and underwear when you get home tonight
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
Its because she suspects I'm a frequent drug user, which I am, but I am going to make her feel like she is crazy for believing it.
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